Tarp line idea (hear me out)

[ShatteredArm]

OK, I know the subject of tarp lines is beaten to death, but as I was running up to the top of Bridal Veil on Friday morning, I found the figurative horse to be stirring, and in need of one final beating.  Indeed, I thought of a novel way to do the tarp line that should resolve everybody's concerns about fairness once and for all, and make it so nobody even needs to stay up all night.

Tarp position should be determined by footrace. Simply line everybody up on Colorado Ave outside of town park, and three hours before the first set, the gun goes off. Those in line simply have to grab a card from someone standing at the top of Bridal Veil Falls switchbacks, and they will then be admitted into the grounds in whatever order they return.

I think everybody should agree that this would be a purely merit-based approach to assigning out the prime locations.

This would also increase the physical fitness of tarp runners - if you want the best tarp position, you have to train throughout the year.  Get a prime spot simply by being able to comfortably tackle eight miles with steep grades at high elevation!  Local boys who are in the business of professional tarp running will also need to exercise regularly, so it should be a plus for the town as well.

To make it a more amusing spectacle, we can even reserve special prime locations for things like the runner who manages to complete the tarp run having consumed the most beers before the start, the tarp runner with the most comical outfit, the winner of the nude division, etc.

What do you all think? I can't find any flaws.

[FaceOnMars]

OK, I know the subject of tarp lines is beaten to death, but as I was running up to the top of Bridal Veil on Friday morning, I found the figurative horse to be stirring, and in need of one final beating.  Indeed, I thought of a novel way to do the tarp line that should resolve everybody's concerns about fairness once and for all, and make it so nobody even needs to stay up all night.

Tarp position should be determined by footrace. Simply line everybody up on Colorado Ave outside of town park, and three hours before the first set, the gun goes off. Those in line simply have to grab a card from someone standing at the top of Bridal Veil Falls switchbacks, and they will then be admitted into the grounds in whatever order they return.

I think everybody should agree that this would be a purely merit-based approach to assigning out the prime locations.

This would also increase the physical fitness of tarp runners - if you want the best tarp position, you have to train throughout the year.  Get a prime spot simply by being able to comfortably tackle eight miles with steep grades at high elevation!  Local boys who are in the business of professional tarp running will also need to exercise regularly, so it should be a plus for the town as well.

To make it a more amusing spectacle, we can even reserve special prime locations for things like the runner who manages to complete the tarp run having consumed the most beers before the start, the tarp runner with the most comical outfit, the winner of the nude division, etc.

What do you all think? I can't find any flaws.

Ya know, I've had a similar idea for the Telluride Film Fest ... which I've always found to be extremely ironic in so far as all of the people who travel great distances to one of the most beautiful locations on earth to jockey for a spot in line only to sit inside a dark theatre all day/night.

You basically have the same idea ... although I was thinking of a hand stamp with permanent marker (so they can't buy a card) by a person at key locations such as the top of Bear Creek Falls or the top of Jud Weibe, etc.

Bluegrass is a little different in that festivarians are mostly outside and generally out and about by virtue of the venue and campgrounds ... and as much as I like to bitch and moan about the current tarp situation at TBF, some of the "Hollywood types" at Film Fest can be much more pushy and demanding generally speaking (ask any waitress/waiter in town).

Guess what I'm saying is that I think encouraging film festers to "work" for their spot in line by experiencing the outside world might be more of a positive thing; however, adding to the existing physical component for Bluegrass would add yet another layer of unecessary competition which I think should ultimately be solved via randomization.

[landshark]

OK, I know the subject of tarp lines is beaten to death, but as I was running up to the top of Bridal Veil on Friday morning, I found the figurative horse to be stirring, and in need of one final beating.  Indeed, I thought of a novel way to do the tarp line that should resolve everybody's concerns about fairness once and for all, and make it so nobody even needs to stay up all night.

Tarp position should be determined by footrace. Simply line everybody up on Colorado Ave outside of town park, and three hours before the first set, the gun goes off. Those in line simply have to grab a card from someone standing at the top of Bridal Veil Falls switchbacks, and they will then be admitted into the grounds in whatever order they return.

I think everybody should agree that this would be a purely merit-based approach to assigning out the prime locations.

This would also increase the physical fitness of tarp runners - if you want the best tarp position, you have to train throughout the year.  Get a prime spot simply by being able to comfortably tackle eight miles with steep grades at high elevation!  Local boys who are in the business of professional tarp running will also need to exercise regularly, so it should be a plus for the town as well.

To make it a more amusing spectacle, we can even reserve special prime locations for things like the runner who manages to complete the tarp run having consumed the most beers before the start, the tarp runner with the most comical outfit, the winner of the nude division, etc.

What do you all think? I can't find any flaws.

Good plan and anyone over 50 gets an hour head start

[Bevin]

This horse is dead.  Please bury the horse.

[Schlagger]

As with most things, I agree with Bevin (hey Bevin it's Will).  Despite the issues with the tarp line, it is what it is and its unlikely to be anything different.  No to squeeze the bellows, but those who do not have full use of their legs/feet/lungs/whatever are not likely to be excited about this idea.  People would hire professional runners, bla bla bla. 

[ShatteredArm]

As with most things, I agree with Bevin (hey Bevin it's Will).  Despite the issues with the tarp line, it is what it is and its unlikely to be anything different.  No to squeeze the bellows, but those who do not have full use of their legs/feet/lungs/whatever are not likely to be excited about this idea.  People would hire professional runners, bla bla bla. 

It wasn't meant as a serious suggestion. I really couldn't care less about the tarp situation. I don't know which part of my post caused the ambiguity, maybe the part about the nude division?

[landshark]

As with most things, I agree with Bevin (hey Bevin it's Will).  Despite the issues with the tarp line, it is what it is and its unlikely to be anything different.  No to squeeze the bellows, but those who do not have full use of their legs/feet/lungs/whatever are not likely to be excited about this idea.  People would hire professional runners, bla bla bla. 

It wasn't meant as a serious suggestion. I really couldn't care less about the tarp situation. I don't know which part of my post caused the ambiguity, maybe the part about the nude division?

How about a three legged race up hill?  The Art of Tarp race. Best Tarp Art wins. Sounds fair to me and if your over 50 you win

[FaceOnMars]

Perhaps a nude three legged (or potato sack) race would get me off my high horse!

[completejohn]

Perhaps a nude three legged (or potato sack) race would get me off my high horse!

A naked third leg could get you thrown into jail.

[landshark]

Perhaps a nude three legged (or potato sack) race would get me off my high horse!

A naked third leg could get you thrown into jail.

John it was so nice to meet you! Too funny you guys!

[BluegrassDustin]

The argument is that larger groups would still have an advantage as they would quickly realize that they could organize the footrace to be a relay. They would simply recruit more runners, pass the number, and STILL be first in line.

NEXT!


Hilarious suggestion, though.

[BanginBlue]

OK, what if we cleared the 24/7 chairs so that if you want to be there by 11:00 PM, you would not automatically start at 100 or so? Too simple? Quite sure I'm missing something, but not sure what it is.

[swander99]

Hilarious suggestion, though.

               

               

Good one Dustin! 

 Listening to: Planet B'grass Radio-(add some more "only on the Planet" tunes next winter?)

[rettlerSCI]

There is an issue with the tarp run?

[Hot Sugar]

I wasn't intending to respond to this, but then I saw . . .